PSA

When drinking heavily, it is not advisable to go horseback riding. This is especially true if you are over 350lbs and have decided that a horse would be the best way to get from your house the the store.... at night... without much lighting outside.... and only another very drunk person to help you put the saddle on the horse. While I am glad that you didn't decide to drive, maybe you should have just called to order a pizza from the local pizza place instead of riding to the store to get snacks. When you realize that the cinch (the part that holds the saddle on said horse) is "breaking" (because you actually didn't secure it correctly so it just slid apart), it is normally better to just put your arms out and attempt to catch yourself (or try to land on a body part aside from your head). It is NOT advisable to try to hold on to the saddle horn and not attempt to stop yourself from hitting the ground. This is not a cartoon! You will NOT just be able to stay in the saddle while riding upside down underneath the horse. You WILL bust your head open and require a full trauma workup because you're on Coumadin and split your wig on the ground. This is the end of the PSA for the day. :-D